A Year of Healing, One Frame at a Time

An article by Catey Ott Thompson 

In October 2025, my company, Catey Ott Dance Collective, celebrated its 20th Anniversary with a weekend of performances.   This show featured a variety of repertory pieces as well as a video montage with actual footage of me dancing over the past 20 years.  Putting this production together was highly reflective for me and brought up visceral memories and emotions about my life at that time that each piece of choreography was made.  It was important to review the extensive video archives through the lens of growth and complexity, and with an appreciation for the opportunities to create in the ways that I did.  After much effort and energy, the successful performance weekend happened with overwhelming support and gratitude.

A little over a month later, I injured my knee very badly.  The euphoria of last month's successes shifted into the reality that I now had to be mindful of every step I took.  I could not walk well, and honestly did not know if I would ever dance again.  After meeting with several doctors, I was able to find the surgeon to make the necessary repairs to my knee. The best option for a full recovery was a MACI procedure which involved 2 surgeries: a meniscus repair and a knee cartilage extraction to be grown in a laboratory, and then a month later, a surgical implant of my newly grown cartilage back into my knee.  This approach necessitated a 9-12 month slow journey back to full-out dancing.  I could not imagine going this long without physically expressing my inner myself.   My identity is very much grounded in my dancing, so experiencing this loss with a mere hopeful recovery produced tremendous anxiety.

As I prepared for this time period, my worries and sadness were building, causing my perfection mindset to separate my usually positive body image into a series of disorganized parts that were somewhat out of proportion.  Normally, I choreograph and dance myself through challenges in my emotional life, but during this time of healing, I absolutely needed to find another creative outlet to work through my emotions.  I decided to explore experimental filmmaking as my new way of coping.  

To begin, I gave myself the assignment of making a 30 second close up video each day, each highlighting a different part of me.  This task provided me with the chance to check in with myself, bit by bit, and see how I was feeling.  This project reminded me of the Gestalt Psychological Theory of “HOLISM:  that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.  This approach played a major role in the study of human sensation and perception.”  (www.verywellmind.com)  The take-away here is ironic because I have spent so many years teaching dance with a focus of celebrating the whole dancer.  At this juncture, however, I became aware of my discomfort as my individual parts seemed to overpower the goal of harmonized integration. I delved deeper into this mysterious pattern of self-distortion to resolve it for myself, as well as use this film project to encourage holistic wellness for the amazing dance students and professionals in the community and beyond.

The first surgery on January 22nd was successful and required the 3-weeks of required immobilization, rest and recovery. I let go of the concepts of time, speed, dynamics, schedule, and complex strategizing. I was depressed without my upbeat activities, endorphin highs, and constant stimulation of teaching and choreographing.  As this time ended, my daily agendas increased, but my healing necessitated me to remain slow and mindful. It was just the beginning of a long, long road to a full recovery.  I dreaded it, but there was nowhere else to turn.

The daily film segments I took during this time period were intriguing to make. I let my intuitive choices bring about vulnerability and an honesty with my self-judgement, accepting that my feelings, distortions, and muscular atrophy were very real, especially to me.  It became very important for me to envision the individual film segments linked together to capture my experience, even if the film was challenging for the audience to watch.

I mentioned my film idea to Heidi Latsky who has been a mentor through my professional career in NYC since 1995. She offered to be the creative editor for this project which we named “The Comings and Goings of Days.” This project has become a continuation of a rich artistic relationship and friendship. Heidi's sense of rhythm, timing, focus, and a deep understanding of my concept brought the first film into fruition.  The music we selected  matched the exploration of discomfort.

No sooner had I made my way back to general mobility with permission to walk on the treadmill, I headed into the second surgery on March 5th.  Full of worry but ready for the next phase, I accepted the anesthesia and crossed my fingers for my knee's future. All went as planned with the procedure, and I needed a full 6 weeks back in bed to recover.  The cartilage replacement necessitated total non-weightbearing on that leg during this phase.   I was in great pain.  I was hooked up to a knee-mobilizing machine for 8 hours a day for 2 weeks, and longed for the day that I could take an actual bath. Eventually, my response to the pain and required immobility became more peaceful.  I came to the realization that I had needed to surrender to the much needed rest, a neurological reset, and a respite from my constant yet inspired work.  I relied on consistent breath-work and mindfulness to calm me, all while being wrapped up in heavy blankets on a blow-up mattress on the living room floor. I gave myself very sweet pep talks, read, and listened to many audiobooks to make it through the long days, weeks, and months that it took to get  back to being vertical enough to crutch around safely.  My family took exquisite care of me and we enjoyed quality time together in home-bound ways.  

The process of deep healing is not at all linear, and from this uncertainty formed a brilliantly chaotic space for me to create from. I knew I needed to make a second film. For “The Comings and Goings of Days, part 2,” I focused on capturing 3 second snippets or snapshots of creative and meaningful, almost tender moments.  The mood of this film became somewhat surreal, lighter in tone, and less self-conscious.  The concept of “just barely getting by” was the theme, relying on basic necessities like icepacks, exercise in bed, and healthy food, as well as simple pleasures such as flowers, cupcakes, and nail polish. Heidi took this collection of images and used photos of my face as a symbol of time's passage, as well as the realistic sound of my family's voices and the TV in the background as the sound score.  

The month of May eventually arrived, and I was able to return to gentle movement, physical therapy, and household chores. Walking, swimming, Pilates, and stretching were accompanied by frequent periods of rest with ice packs.   My creative self knew that a 3rd section to my project needed to be a live capture of my return into my body as I found new ways to locomote through space.  With a small stool as my duet partner, I made my way back to the studio. I called upon my deep inner strength for assistance to trust my physical stability again.  My shaky body found a humble way to carve out pathways, connections, and a few favorite moves to tell my story.  After 2 months of rehearsal, I felt ready to present my self-in-progress with this vulnerable solo.

Although so much has shifted from the CODC 20th Anniversary Show until now, my creative process remained resilient and experimental. I tapped into a whole new realm of growth and complexity that I would not have found otherwise. I am pleased to share that on Saturday, September 26th at 2:30pm, the Haggerty Museum of Art will present all three parts of “The Comings and Goings of Days” in conjunction with Doors Open MKE.   All are welcome for this free showing, and support from the community one year later is very much appreciated.  

The hope is that this abstract and imagistic documentary will have an impact on others, especially in the minds of injured dancers of all ages to inspire strength, wisdom, and perseverance.  I am committed to sharing these lessons along with the love of dance on a deeper level to the communities that I reach and teach.